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Its Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK. This year they have chosen Body Image and I feel I have a lot to say about body image and the practice of self acceptance. There is so much baggage around body image but I finally feel like I am in a place where I am past a lot of my body image issues that plagued me in my teens, twenties and most of my thirties (I turned 39 this year btw).

Based on my own personal experience I do really believe that there is a strong link between body image and mental health. In accepting my body and loving it and its “perceived flaws “according to society, I have come out into the light of just being in myself and Gosh darn it! It feels good! It feels so very good!

The practice of self-acceptance was pivotal in my learning to accept (and dare I say celebrate) myself. Self acceptance is the launchpad of conscious change. It’s a long process but so worth it – in most cases it doesn’t happen overnight – we are talking years of committing to a journey! Just like the programming that we were given about our bodies was over years – it takes a long time to work at installing new programming that we actually have a choice over.  

I read a lot of self help/ personal development books so when I decided to write about body image I wanted to share what was the most powerful actionable thing I did that moved the needle in my journey to a positive body image and the Mirror Exercise from Dr Nathaniel Brandon’s book: The Six Pillars of Self Esteem immediately came to mind. I invite you to read this selection from his book. But don’t stop there – do check out this book. Its long but has some great info and strategies.

“Stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at your face and body. Notice your feelings as you do so. I am asking you to focus not on your clothes or your makeup but on you. Notice if this is difficult or makes you uncomfortable. It is good to do this exercise naked. You will probably like some parts of what you set; more than others. If you are like most people, you will find some parts difficult to look at for long because they agitate or displease you. In your eyes there may be a pain you do not want to confront. Perhaps you are too fat or too thin. Perhaps there is some aspect of your body you so dislike that you can hardly bear to keep looking at it. Perhaps you see signs of age and cannot bear to stay connected with the thoughts and emotions these signs evoke. So the impulse is to escape, to flee from awareness, to reject, deny, disown aspects of your self.

Still, as an experiment, I ask you to stay focused on your image in the mirror a few moments longer, and say to yourself, “Whatever my defects or  Imperfections, I accept myself unreservedly and completely.” Stay focused, breathe deeply, and say this over and over again for a minute or two without rushing the process. Allow yourself to experience fully the meaning of your words. You may find yourself protesting, “But I don’t like certain things about my body, so how can I accept them unreservedly and completely?” But remember: “Accepting”does not necessarily mean “liking.” “Accepting” does not mean we cannot imagine or wish for changes or improvements. It means experiencing, without denial or avoidance, that a fact is a fact. In this case, it means accepting that the face and body in the mirror are your face and body and that they are what they are. If you persist, if you surrender to the reality of what is, if you surrender to awareness (which is what “accepting” ultimately means), you may notice that you have begun to relax a bit and perhaps feel more comfortable with yourself, and more real. Even though you may not like or enjoy everything you see when you look in the mirror, you are still able to say, “Right now, that’s me. And I don’t deny the fact. I accept it.” That is respect for reality.”

The Six Pillars of self-esteem, p.95, Nathaniel Branden

For my own children I now only speak positive things of my body – if I don’t have anything nice to say – I won’t say it at all. Here is a link to a post I penned back in 2015 detailing  how uncomfortable I felt with compliments relating to my body. This was after a compliment from a reader of my Vogue V1440 leggings post.

My body image improved when I stopped reading fashion magazines.

I have never felt as good about my body image as I do now and I credit that to moving my body – it started with yoga, then swimming, then running, then cycling, then triathlons, then lifting weights. Each baby step brought me the new knowledge of what my body is capable of beyond the miracle of being able to carry and nourish life through pregnancy and breastfeeding.

You can read more about Mental Health Awareness week here for ideas on how to get involved and resources for help with mental health.

You may be interested in these post from other bloggers I know who wrote about Body Image

BadAssBagLady.com – My Experience with PTSD and Cancer

NelNanandNora.wordpress.com  – Musings on Body Image